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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Is She Faking It?

By David Strovny
Sex Education Correspondent
Every Saturday

This is a subject that has plagued man’s curiosity for ages -- most likely because the problem is pervasive and of a pandemic proportion.

We informally polled 15 female friends and the result was that all of them admitted that, at one time or another, they’ve faked an orgasm. Yup, that’s right, at some point, it is highly likely that your girl has padded your ego, screamed aloud and didn’t feel more than the jolt she feels after a bite of dark chocolate -- maybe even less than that.

While we're certain that more than half of all women have faked an orgasm, not all of them fake it all of the time. But how can you tell? Read on and we’ll explain why she might fake it, how you can tell if she’s faking or not, and we'll even provide you with tips on what to do about it.

her reasons
Aside from her unwillingness to shatter your ego by stating it was your lack of technique that resulted in her artificial happy ending, there are a myriad of other possible reasons for her to fake an orgasm.

One such reason could be the amount of alcohol she consumed. While some women claim that their inhibitions are lowered in their inebriated state, thus, increasing their arousal, the reality is that alcohol is a downer. Physiologically, it reduces sexual arousal and vaginal lubrication. It takes longer for a woman to achieve orgasm, if she can at all. Another possibility is her perceived expectations of you and sex. She may feel that she’s disappointing you if she doesn’t come. She might also think that you’ll regard sex as a failure if she doesn’t reach her peak.

Maybe she’s tired or is thinking about things; women can live in their heads. If she’s distracted, tired or worried about something, chances are she won’t be having an orgasm tonight.

signs she’s a faker
She’s not wet
A woman simply cannot fake being wet. If she’s producing enough of her own lubrication to be pleasurably moist down there, you can safely assume that she’s enjoying herself. So, when you rub, kiss or slide your leg between hers and encounter friction and dryness, you can assume that she’s not turned on. If she appears to be having a good time, she is most likely acting her way out of your bed in an attempt to end it quickly.

Sudden orgasm
Now, what if she is not enthused during the build-up? You are mightily pumping away or gradually easing into your groove, and without warning, bam! She comes with a loud and sudden scream, an affected shudder, a dramatic sigh, and then nothing -- except maybe her unconcealed boredom and her desire to be somewhere else, evidenced by her agility and quickness in leaving your warm bed. Often, a satisfied woman will languorously dwell in bed. She’ll snuggle or fall asleep in blissful satiation. Chances are that she faked it if she was bored, had a sudden attack and dashed off to go watch TV.

She’s distracted
Do her eyes wander while you make love? Does she seem to be concentrating on something other than the moment and your hands, lips and body moving across hers? If she looks distracted for the duration of your intimate moment, she is not feeling that orgasm she’s trying to evince. Usually, right before a woman achieves an orgasm you’ll see an intense concentration and focus so she may enjoy those overwhelming feelings. If she’s looking at you in a kind of abstracted way, she is probably not being so truthful in her moans and cries for more.

Maybe it’s taking her longer to have an orgasm or maybe it was done faster than it has ever been done before. Use your judgment. You know what she sounds like when she’s riding that crest. You know how her eyes darken with passion, and the approximate amount of time it takes for her to feel unbelievably hot, wet and irresistible. If these things seem off, your spidey senses should definitely be ringing.

signs she’s for real
You’ll know that she’s for real when her body temperature is up, her labia are swollen, wet and are a darker pink or purple than usual. They’ll also give off voluntary and involuntary muscle contractions, and her clitoris will be larger than normal. Her breasts may feel bigger in your hands as they’ll be a little more swollen, and her nipples will be hard and erect. These things just can’t be controlled by a woman and will be easy for you to see and discover.

how to deal with an actress
Talk to her to find out what she likes and how she likes it. Be her willing student and learn how her body works. Ask her to show you what she likes and how she likes it, and to let you know when you’re doing something she does or doesn’t like. Encourage her to be vocal.

What you don’t want to do is get angry, blame her, antagonize her, or make her feel guilty or lacking in some way. Let her know that time has no meaning when making love. If she feels like she wants to have an orgasm, she can; if she enjoys the sensations without the orgasm, that’s great too. There should be no pressure to achieve orgasm placed on her to fulfill her or your sexual expectations. If you can do this for her, she will assuredly appreciate your intentions and leave the acting behind.


source: askmen