Lifestyle Correspondent
Every other Friday
The concept of etiquette is an elusive and vague proposition to many men. We think that we know what proper conduct is but when the time comes to perform, we choke. Rare is the individual who has the moxie to point out a public blunder, thus compounding the embarrassment. Our modus operandi is to take you to charm school.As men, we are motivated to behave best when in the company of a woman we are trying to impress or woo. Therefore, it would be beneficial to bear in mind that the majority of points will address a dating scenario and not, for instance, a business lunch or large dinner party.
Dining etiquette has a number of universal laws, but specific rules are often dependent on the company, culture and situation. We promise not to get that complicated here. Our mission is simple. We would be content if our loyal and valued reader never evoked the image of a Braveheart extra in a social setting again. So place a coaster under the beer bottle, put down the microwave burrito, wipe the salsa off your chin, and pay close attention.
prelude to a dinner
The dining experience does not begin when you put the first morsel of food into your mouth. Rather, the scene is set when you select the restaurant. You may want to consult your companion before making a reservation, but you will demonstrate more class if you risk choosing a venue yourself. Do your homework -- read reviews and ask those you trust for a suggestion -- and be sure to select a restaurant that will please your date, as well as yourself.
The importance of a reservation cannot be overstated. If ambiance is important to you, as well it should be, ask if you can reserve a specific table. In addition, if you are looking forward to impressing your date with a particular dish associated with the house chef, then check if it is required to place an order in advance. Inquire whether a dress code is in effect and inform your companion in a casual and polite manner beforehand.
the arrival
Never offer to meet your date at the restaurant. The request is suitable when dining with a group, but not if you are to be alone with a woman.
Be certain that you know where the restaurant is located. Ask for directions when you make the reservation and do not neglect to find out the cross street.
Give yourself a 15-minute buffer in order to maintain an aura of calm. Nothing can be more disconcerting than to begin a dining experience in rush mode.
Behave like a gentleman from the outset, offering to open the car door, extending your right elbow for her to hold and taking an acceptable amount of time to park the vehicle.
The rule of thumb is that if you have been circling for more than five minutes, you should bite the bullet and pay for parking. Or better yet, use the valet service (tip the driver yourself). A small detail perhaps, but one that will reveal a lot about your character.
When you enter the restaurant, solicit the attention of the host or hostess in a civil manner. State your reservation time and name, and wait to be seated. Offer to remove the coat of your companion and utilize the coat check, if there is one. Do not forget the tip. When it is time to sit down, allow your date to follow the host or hostess first and offer to pull out her chair, pushing it back in once she is seated. Now sit down, place your napkin on your lap and relax.
how to order
Be alert, be engaging and take your time. Maintain the correct posture your mother warned you about without looking like a proctology patient. The key is to shoot for a composed and natural appearance, keeping eye contact with your date during the conversation until you have both decided you are prepared to look at the menu.
Do not order a drink before dinner unless your date is going to have one as well. If that is the case, stay away from beer. Instead, ask the waiter to provide you with an aperitif list. A bottle of sparkling water is a nice touch, if not a tad pretentious. Gauge the mood before ordering Pellegrino.
When you go over the menu, make it a joint effort. Talk to your dinner companion about what appears enticing. This is a valuable learning opportunity. The experience of ordering a meal can reveal some delicious information about a person. Do not let your hunger deter your focus. After all, you may have a vested interest in the dish your date selects.
If you have both agreed to order wine, your meals must be somewhat compatible. Discuss with your waiter any questions you may have concerning the menu, meal preparation and wine selection. You will not lose face in doing so. In fact, it will impress whomever you are with to know that you are not too proud to ask.
what to order
Ordering a main course and ending it there is not a wise move. Appetizers are a fine way to begin a meal and can be shared if the comfort level is there. There are even instances when it may be more desirable to select an array of starter dishes and forgo the traditional main course.
The philosophy being suggested extends beyond dessert as well. Depending on the type of restaurant, the menu may include a sorbet to cleanse the palate or a cheese course. Go for it. And do indulge in coffee and dessert.
wine etiquette
It is assumed that you have chosen a wine best suited to the meals ordered. The wine should arrive before the meals. It is tradition for the wine to be tasted by the man, so do not be surprised when the waiter pours a small amount into your glass and waits for your approval.
Sip the wine and let it swirl around your mouth. Take the time to taste it. It would be a reflection of class to ask your companion to try the wine. Give the waiter your honest opinion, remembering that the ritual is not a mere formality. Hence, it is not in poor taste by any stretch of the imagination to demand a different bottle of wine if it has gone sour.
time to eat
First of all, slow down tiger. You may be hungry enough to eat an entire zebra, but do not, under any circumstance, let your dinner companion know that. Do not lose sight of where you are and whom you are with. A fine dining experience must be respected in order to be enjoyed. Therefore, you should approach your meal with masculine delicacy.
Eat your food with restraint and keep the conversation flowing throughout the meal. Savor the experience and the time you have at your disposal. You do not want to finish way ahead of your date. If, however, you do, do not allow your plate to be cleared until she is done. The gesture will be appreciated.
A helpful hint: never refill the wineglass of your dinner companion. Even if she does not protest, it is in terrible taste. Let the waiter do his job.
paying and tipping
In our modern age of equality of the sexes, it is not always expected that the man pay for the meal. Nevertheless, a true gentleman will offer in sincere fashion every time. If the occasion is a special one and you are insistent on footing the tab, any protest can be avoided by submitting your credit card beforehand (discretion is advised).
As a result, all that will be left to do when the bill arrives is to calculate the tip. In doing so, never use a calculator or pen. A standard tip for good service at minimum should be 15% of the bill before tax. The required math should not pose any difficulty. If you have received attentive service from a member of the staff other than your waiter, ask how you may leave a separate tip for the individual in question.
no secrets here
The secret to proper dining etiquette is to not lose yourself in detail. Be confident, polite and mindful of the occasion. If you care about your dining company, the energy expended will appear effortless.
source: askmen.com